Wiping Your Ass With A Hand Towel

December 1, 2020
Wiping Your Ass With A Hand Towel

Before I get to the hand towel let me give you a bit of the background story.

My niece, let’s call her Bum 2, started seeing someone who I like to refer to as Bum 1. This 19 or 20 year old kid likes to spend his days drinking and smoking weed. How he pays for all of it? He doesn’t have a job so I have no clue. Most likely bums(hence his nickname) off of my niece. If it’s not one niece it’s the other one. He’s seeing one and good friends with the other.

Now onto the story.

One night Bum 1 was left home alone while Bum 2 went out and partied with her friends. You’re going to leave your pathetic excuse of a boyfriend home alone in a home that he was never invited into? Ok, cool. Well, Bum 1 decided to take a shower. I thought a shower at 5pm was a little weird but ok. When he got out of the bathroom my girlfriend went in there to pee. Not ok. She immediately comes back into our room looking for cleaners and gloves. She tells me that Bum 1 had explosive diarrhea and didn’t bother to clean it up. I was disgusted. My girlfriend can’t use a dirty toilet so she went in there and cleaned it up. Turns out the explosive diarrhea wasn’t even the worst of it!

So my girlfriend and I are no longer in the business of supporting these bums and these bums don’t make enough money to wipe their ass. Literally.

Now let me get to the hand towel… This worthless piece of shit had the audacity to grab one of our hand towels and wipe his filthy, shit-covered ass with it. Oh but it’s not over yet! This disgusting excuse for a human being decided it’d be a good idea to let this shit-covered hand towel sit right next to the toilet. Also by the toilet? A waste basket. But the floor seemed better to this kid. Why he thinks he’s been staying at a hotel baffles the shit out of me.

Obviously I was furious. I texted Bum 2 about the situation. This is after many texts from my girlfriend to her asking to start picking up after HERSELF and her guests. We were not asking for much at all. This bitch thought it was about the hand towel itself. Dumbasses.

So a few days after this ordeal I go outside and my step dad is outside. He approached me, snapping at me about me asking my niece to clean up. I usually bow down to this asshole but instead I made it clear that it wasn’t the cleaning that pissed me off, it was the fact that her little bum of a boyfriend left a shit-covered hand towel on the bathroom floor. My step dad was clueless. Apparently my twat of a niece told my step dad that I was yelling at her to clean the house and take out the trash in the bathroom. Are you fucking kidding me?

I got the last laugh though. Turns out my step dad was selling his car that my niece had her eye on. I bought it. She was shocked to see me driving it. What a wonderful feeling.

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